Obama Locks It Up, Hillary’s Debt Grows

During his victory speech in Iowa last night, President Sen. Barack Obama claimed victory in the pledged delegate count:

“And tonight, in the fullness of spring, with the help of those who stood up from Portland to Louisville, we have returned to Iowa with a majority of delegates elected by the American people, and you have put us within reach of the Democratic nomination for President of the United States.”

The speech followed his 35 point loss in Kentucky and his 16 point win in Oregon. And he followed that with an endorsement by Connecticut Rep. Joe Courtney, increasing his lead in that category as well.

Hillary, on the other hand, following her meaningless victory in Kentucky is now $21 million in debt. So that means, despite the fact that she knows she cannot possibly win anything but maybe an amateur staring contest, she has to keep trying to raise money to pay off her bills. Too bad that Hatfield kid’s bike and video game loot got squandered. Doesn’t sound like she’s make a very fiscally responsible Commander in Chief to me.

Ted Kennedy Released from Hospital

We’re happy to hear that Sen. Ted Kennedy has been released from Massachusetts General Hospital this morning and is headed back to his home in Cape Cod. He waved to well wishers and greeted his 2 dogs as he exited the hospital without the aid of a wheelchair.

Sen. Kennedy was diagnosed earlier this week with malignant glioma, which in most cases is fatal. However, he seems to be in good spirits and people who know him say he is a fighter. The 76 year old Senator plans to spend the week sailing and with his family. We wish him well.

MJ Might Do The Vegas Strip

Word is the owners of the Las Vegas Hilton, who are also the guys who took over Mike’s Neverland mortgage, are encouraging the 49 year old white woman to headline their venue in Vegas. This could put him easily back in the mega rich column…if people show up. They might want to do some market research cause he’s not exactly as family friendly as, say, Celine Dion. But in the words of Dave Chappelle:

“He made Thriller. Thriller.”

Whether the King of Pop will actually do the gig or not is another question. I’ve been saying for years he should do one night in the Garden and it would sell out in an hour. But 3 shows a day everyday? I don’t know if he’s up to it.

Kells Is Fenna Go To Jail

Tell me that ain’t the same guy.

The infamous R. Kelly sex tape will be played in the courtroom today as singer Robert Kelly’s statutory rape trial gets underway. There has to be a better argument for him than the that’s-not-me defense. He could have gotten his lawyers to argue that the state would be committing a crime by playing the tape if in fact the girl was under age at the time, or if he finds some long lost birth certificate that shows the girl was 18, or some dude that looks EXACTLY like him (who also has a steam room in his house), or…nah he’s goin to jail.

McCain Is Just Making Stuff Up Now

In a rally yesterday, Obama defended his stance on opening talks with America’s enemies, saying:

“Strong countries and strong Presidents talk to their adversaries. That’s what Kennedy did with Kruschev, that’s what Reagan did with Gorbachev, that’s what Nixon did with Mao. I mean think about it, Iran, Cuba, Venezuela, these countries are tiny compared to the Soviet Union.”

And here’s how Teflon John heard it:

“Senator Obama claimed that the threat Iran poses to our security is ‘tiny’ compared to the threat once posed by the former Soviet Union. Should Iran acquire nuclear weapons that danger would become very dire indeed. They might not become a super power, but the threat the government of Iran poses is anything but tiny.”

There’s a really good hearing aid joke here, but I’m gonna let it slide. It’s sad to me that when people know they can’t win in a fair debate that they resort to flat out lying to get their point across. Obama was very clearly speaking on the geographical and military size of the former Soviet Union, not its threat level. And if he was talking about that, he still would have been telling the truth. Maybe I haven’t been keeping my YouTube game up, but all of the videos of kids running to take shelter under their desks that I’ve seen are in black and white. So honestly, the threat is not as great. By McCain’s own admission, none of these TINY countries will ever become a super power. So…why are we dropping $2 billion a week on that whole endeavor again?

I’m hoping McCain didn’t really hear Obama’s speech and one of his lobbyists campaign managers just told him that lie.

How Hillary Could Have Become President

She should have run in 2004

Let’s be real, Hillary has been planning to run for President since Bill won in 1992, and probably before. She’s from Chicago, went to college in Massachusetts, law school in Connecticut, and lived her married years in Arkansas. So why the heck is she a Senator from New York? Short answer: because Wall Street is in New York. It’s also the 3rd most populous state in the country. All of that adds up to a big constituency and big campaign dollars. She easily won her Senate campaign in 2001 and was poised to run for President once she gained some experience in Congress.

And here’s where she made her mistake. She didn’t think that a Junior Senator with 3 years of experience as a legislator would make a viable candidate. And historically, she’s right, but Obama has proven the past not to be the best indicator of the future. So the Democrats went with Kerry after Dean’s outburst (which is still funny). Nobody really LIKED Kerry, they just disliked Bush…and he still only lost by 2 points. So had Hillary run in 2004, I’m sure these same issues of experience would arise toward her, but she still would have won. She would have locked up the youth vote, the Black vote, the Hispanic vote, the anti-war vote, and the women vote. Those hard working white people that she’s clinging to now would have still voted for Bush though. And she’d be President today, probably coasting to her 2nd term leaving Obama to run in 2012.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Instead, now she’s at the mercy of a 46 year old newcomer who basically just destroyed her lifelong dream. Considering that, she’s taking it very well and you can’t blame her for fighting. Hopefully Obama will offer he some major post just short of VP so that she can save face for the time being. But her political career will never be the same. Even if she does get elected President in the future, it will be because Obama has served for 8 years and can’t run again. But with a little luck and a lot of Botox, she’ll make it…one day.

Hateration

Political has-been Geraldine Ferraro just released a statement that she will definitely not vote for Obama, saying:

“I think Obama was terribly sexist.”

She went on to say:

“We (women), the most loyal constituency, are being told to sit down, shut up and get to the back of the bus,”

Really? This is after she said earlier this year:

“If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.”

So let me get this right. It’s ok to vote for a woman because she’s a woman, but not ok to vote for a black man because he’s black? Here’s the thing, it’s not that she can’t be elected BECAUSE she’s a woman. And it’s not like Americans wouldn’t elect A woman, even Hillary one day (maybe). On the contrary, I think this primary cycle has shown that a woman definitely has a shot at the Presidency. It’s just that we really like the black guy. He seems genuine, like he listens to people, and all naivete aside he really at least wants to change things.

But hopefully she’ll just stay home. If you agree with McCain on the issues then you should definitely vote for him. But to vote for one guy solely because the other guy called you out publicly is just silly, disloyal, and ungenuine. Stop hating.

McCain Hates Highways

Ok, so the self-deprecating thing is a good defense mechanism for staving off criticism. And on principle, McCain is right when he says that there needs to be more oversight of “pork barrel” earmarks that find there way into Congressional bills. McCain, toting his opposition to earmarks on this past weekend’s Saturday Night Live, jokingly said:

“When I entered the Senate in 1987, Arizona had 47,000 miles of paved roadway. Today it’s less than 900.”

Yeah, that’s not funny. The reason there are earmarks is largely because Congress takes a long time to pass legislation, so they combine initiatives to pass multiple things at once. Opponents of earmarks usually note that overspending and funding projects that do little to benefit the common good are bad investments of federal funds (e.g. the Bridge to Nowhere bill that never even saw the light of day). But to say that there should be NO earmarks is irresponsible. I think we all remember the bridge collapse in Minnesota last year which woke us up to the fact that our 50 year old highway system is in need of maintenance. And to joke about allowing our interstates to crumble just isn’t funny.

The jokes about his age, however, were pretty hilarious.

Ted Kennedy Hospitalized

Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy has been rushed to a hospital in Cape Cod, MA with “stoke-like symptoms.” 76 year old Kennedy was an early Obama supporter and has been in office for 46 years. We wish him well.

Update: Sen. Kennedy has been transferred to Mass General in Boston, hinting that his health situation is more serious.

Update: Sen. Kennedy has reportedly suffered a seizure and is still hospitalized undergoing tests. His office has released the following statement:

“He is undergoing a battery of tests at Massachusetts General Hospital to determine the cause of the seizure. Sen. Kennedy is resting comfortably, and it is unlikely we will know anything more for the next 48 hours.”

Huckabee’s Bad Joke

Mike Huckabee, after hearing an off-stage noise during his address to the NRA, made a not-so funny:

“That was Barack Obama, he just tripped off a chair, he’s getting ready to speak. Somebody aimed a gun at him and he dove for the floor.”

First of all, I don’t even get it. Second…was that supposed to be funny?! That was totally out of bounds when you know Obama’s got Secret Service agents coming out of his big ol ears. Apologize immediately and get your mind right.