Top 5: Vice Presidents

Both Obama and McCain are said to be searching for their respective Vice Presidents this weekend. So we compiled our Top 5 list for both nominees. Here are Old Man McCain’s:

5. Bobby Jindal – He’s the new Governor of Louisiana and definitely much younger than McCain (but who isn’t?). He’s reportedly been invited to McCain’s barbecue this weekend, but he’s a baby to politics. On the plus side, he’s 36 years old and Indian (the red dot variety).

4. Condoleezza Rice – She’s definitely got foreign policy experience. But it’s not the good kind. Donald Trump famously noted, “I see Condoleezza Rice, she goes on a plane, she gets off a plane, she waves, she goes there to meet some dictator, they talk, she leaves, she waves, the plane takes off…nothing happens.” She’s got the double minority thing going, but if the racists wanted a black person in office, they might as well go with Obama.

3. Mike Huckabee – People like this guy for the most part. He’ll definitely get the Evangelical vote on lock, but they’d get destroyed on the East Coast.

2. Mitt Romney – He’s really not doing anything these days and I’m sure still has money to trick off trying to get in the White House. People kind of know the guy and respect how he bowed out of the race early (even though he lied about why). Problem is he’s Mormon and nobody knows what that is. And he completely switched his political views lately and they would be labeled as the all-flip-flopper ticket.

1. Charlie Crist – The Florida Governor who pushed for the Democratic primary to be moved up and started the ensuing controversy. Every Republican owes him some dap for that move. He’s pretty popular in Florida so that would be a lock for them. But he’s got a full head of white hair and it’s gonna look like old vs. young. But I guess it’s going to look like that regardless.

And here’s Obama’s list:

5. John Edwards – Respected guy in the party after running for President twice. Young guy who’s always looking out for the little guy. The guy can’t carry North Carolina though, which is a problem.

4. Bill Richardson – Great on foreign policy, has cabinet experience, locks up the Hispanic vote. Only problem is he’s overweight and 2 minorities on a ticket isn’t a great idea just yet.

3. Joe Biden – My early favorite for the VP position. He’s got foreign policy experience coming out of his ears and he’s an old white guy, which people seem to be comfortable with. Good choice, just not the best choice.

2. Jim Webb – War hero, father of war hero, middle aged white guy. I don’t see anything wrong with him so far. He just spoke out on bridging the race gap from the other side which is tremendously helpful to everybody. The guy wore his son’s combat boots while running for Senate, so I doubt any flag pin issues would ever come up.

1. Michael Bloomberg – If he’d take the offer, he’d be the best option. Popular semi-conservative Mayor of NYC and a billionaire. Never hurts to have a billionaire ridin shotgun. Probably the best guy to have next to you when gas hits 5 bucks.

That’s right, no Hillary. When he said she’s on the short list, he was just being nice. Sorry.